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Despite everything you were told at home, at
school and in Church, masturbation is OK. It’s been around a long
time and is not going to go away. So enjoy!
It is one of my sayings that because something is “common” it is
not “normal” but I think in this case we can say that it truly
is one and the same thing. In the animal kingdom primates often
masturbate – and I mean in the wild; I’m not talking about the
notoriously disturbed behaviour of animals in captivity. In
humans around 95% of young males admit to masturbation and 70%
of young females. So if you do it or anyone in your family,
that’s hardly
being abnormal! Just get over any hang ups.
Attitudes about masturbation
The guilt and shame which attaches to this act is quite
remarkable, given it’s almost universal appeal. It’s a historic
thing, of course. In Victorian times it was common to use chastity
devices to prevent what those weirdos called “self abuse”; kids
were locked in harnesses, even having their hands tied. The result,
as you might expect, was to make an obsessive and desired thing.
The resulting shame and degradation of committing the forbidden
act was the real self abuse in this story.
But it’s all relative. Many native tribes, as anthropologist
Margaret Meade first revealed to us, actually masturbate their
children from an early age. In our society an adult would go to
jail for such an act; in their culture a parent considers it a
duty, to enlighten and prepare the child for things to come. Is it
necessary to point out that they don’t have problems like
pedophilia, rape and other sexual depravities? What’s the lesson
here?
Talking of attitudes, I remember being anchored in a bay off
the Greek island of Evia and being surprised when a beautiful
teenage girl in the next boat slipped off her bikini bottom and
masturbated right in front of me. It was not a come-on (at least
if it was I missed my cue!) but a sign of the times and attitudes.
It certainly made me think – about sex, my self esteem and various
uncomfortable feelings that stirred. All of that came, of course,
from my upbringing; not God or Mother Nature.
The health benefits of masturbation
Yes, you did read that correctly. Masturbation, it emerges, is not
only allowable but something any decent educated physician would
recommend these days. The old propaganda that it will do you harm
is wrong.
Science shows many benefits to reaching an orgasm, even by
yourself, that is far better than bottling it up. As a medical
aside, it is also far safer than casual sex with a stranger.
And before anyone writes me to explain the principles of Tantric
sex and “withholding the seed” so that you live longer let me
state categorically it is not philosophy (love of wisdom) but
insupportable NONSENSE. The oldest-lived humans are not Tantric
gurus but sexually vigorous peoples in places like Azerbaijan,
the Hunza valley, Peru and Okinawa. Why follow the losers, just
because they talk fancy?
Masturbation relieves stress, relieves migraines, helps menstrual
cramps, is good for insomnia (when the person is having trouble
falling asleep, as opposed to waking in the night), it releases
mood enhancing hormones (endorphins) and can even boost the immune
system.
Masturbation could also help prevent prostate cancer, according
the recent research. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000
men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about
their sexual habits.
They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of
20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer. The
protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less
likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.
Graham Giles, of the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, who led
the research team, told New Scientist said fewer ejaculations may
mean the carcinogens build up.
"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the
ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells
that line them."
A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and
breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out"
carcinogens, reduce a woman's risk of the disease.
Anthony Smith, deputy director of the Australian Research Centre
in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University in Melbourne,
said the research could affect the kind of lifestyle advice
doctors give to patients.
"Masturbation is part of people's sexual repertoire.
"If these findings hold up, then it's perfectly reasonable that
men should be encouraged to masturbate," he said.
[The study in question was published in the British Journal of
Urology, August 2003]
Lessons!
If any of you out there need a “how to”, then you should get “Sex
for One: The Joy of Self Loving” by Betty Dodson. For more than
20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking the shame
out of masturbation, especially for women. Dodson explains how
anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love.
When it comes to educating kids, you had better take a deep breath
and talk about it! Tell them it’s not only OK but is actually
a great thing to do, far healthier than brooding obsessively
with dark stifling feelings of arousal.
Did you know the Japanese have a TV porn slot called “tissue
time”? The presenter jokes and says “get your Kleenex out for this
next one, it’s going to be a scorcher!” As I said, it’s down
to attitudes, not Nature.
Final note: In 1994 Dr. Jocelyn Elders - the first woman appointed
to the position of U.S. Surgeon General lost her job because she
dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught in
schools! Her dismissal was what you might call dealing an
effective blow for sniggering and shame.
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